#ReleaseBlitz “Snake Bandit” by Nikki Ashton

**Available Now**

Snake Bandit by Nikki Ashton

YA Rock Band romantic humour – standalone read

UNIVERSAL LINK: mybook.to/SnakeBandit

#NewRelease #SnakeBandit #NikkiAshton #YA #RockBand #RomanticHumour #BareNakedWords

“Hilarious, sexy, exciting, and uplifting! An outlandish, yet inspiring book that takes you through the lives of the next rockers generation. Eliza, Rocco, Ethan, Hendrix, Lessie, GiGi, and the rest of the gang are amazing! Nonstop banter, young love,” ~Kelly: Amuse Me Books~

Blurb

When Dirty Riches have taught you how to rock
The rest don’t stand a chance

Summer has arrived and all the kids of the band Dirty Riches have plans

Eliza wants to get Rocco to fall in love with her, but he just wants to have sex with as many girls as possible. In fact, he and Ethan appear to be in competition for biggest manwhore of the summer. Rocco’s younger sister, Gigi also has sex on her mind because she wants to lose her virginity. Shame the guy she has in mind isn’t the best choice. Hendrix, Eliza’s, brother is a model who only has eyes for his girlfriend who he wants to Netflix and Chill with for the summer. Then there’s Lessie and Matilda, who as usual are joined at the hip trying to find ways to make some money. Rafa and Hettie, want to spend the summer practicing kissing so that they literally don’t suck at it! And finally, Jackson and Harrison two of the youngest. Well, they’re happy playing footy and having fun.

So, everyone has their summer planned out.

But when your dads are in a world-famous band, things don’t always go to plan

Sometimes you have to step up and take the stage
Hold on for a fun ride

Fans of the Rock Stars Don’t Like series are going to love this book. Not only do you get the usual banter from your favourite rockers, but their kids too. There’s love, laughs and heartache in Snake Bandit and you’re going to love every minute of it.

Meet the Author

Nikki lives in Cheshire with her husband, two dogs, and lovely mother-in-law who supplies her with endless cups of tea. She writes contemporary and romantic comedy romances and hopes that she puts a smile on her reader’s faces and a sigh in their heart. Nikki is grateful for the wide variety of strange and wonderful people in her life, otherwise, she’d never know what to write about! She always takes a keen interest in family and friends, finding out their innermost secrets in readiness for her next book.

www. – http://www.nikkiashtonbooks.co.uk/
Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/NikkiAshtonBooks
Twitter – https://twitter.com/NikkerAsh
Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/nikkiashtonauthor/
Pinterest – https://uk.pinterest.com/davnikash/

#BookBlitz “Everyday Magic” by Charlie Laidlaw

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Great news! If you pre-order a copy of Everyday Magic by Charlie Laidlaw and you will receive a signed edition! But you have to order before May 26th!

Everyday Magic Front cover FINALEveryday Magic

Expected Publication Date: May 26th, 2021

Genre: Literary fiction/ Contemporary Fiction/ Humour

Publisher: Ringwood Publishing

Carole Gunn leads an unfulfilled life and knows it. She’s married to someone who may, or may not, be in New York on business and, to make things worse, the family’s deaf cat has been run over by an electric car.

But something has been changing in Carole’s mind. She’s decided to revisit places that hold special significance for her. She wants to better understand herself, and whether the person she is now is simply an older version of the person she once was.

Instead, she’s taken on an unlikely journey to confront her past, present and future.

Everyday Magic is an uplifting book filled with humour and poignancy, and reminds us that, while our pasts make us who we are, we can always change the course of our futures.

Pre-Order HERE!

About the Author

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Charlie Laidlaw lives in East Lothian, one of the main settings for Everyday Magic. He has four other published novels: Being Alert!, The Space Between Time, The Things We Learn When We’re Dead and Love Potions and Other Calamities. Previously a journalist and defence intelligence analyst, Charlie now teaches Creative Writing in addition to his writing career.

Charlie Laidlaw | Facebook | Twitter

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#BookSale “You Can’t Touch My Hair: And Other Things I Still Have to Explain” by Phoebe Robinson

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A NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLER • “A must-read…Phoebe Robinson discusses race and feminism in such a funny, real, and specific way, it penetrates your brain and stays with you.”—Ilana Glazer, co-creator and co-star of Broad City

A hilarious and timely essay collection about race, gender, and pop culture from comedy superstar and 2 Dope Queens podcaster Phoebe Robinson

Being a black woman in America means contending with old prejudices and fresh absurdities every day. Comedian Phoebe Robinson has experienced her fair share over the years: she’s been unceremoniously relegated to the role of “the black friend,” as if she is somehow the authority on all things racial; she’s been questioned about her love of U2 and Billy Joel (“isn’t that…white people music?”); she’s been called “uppity” for having an opinion in the workplace; she’s been followed around stores by security guards; and yes, people do ask her whether they can touch her hair all. the. time. Now, she’s ready to take these topics to the page—and she’s going to make you laugh as she’s doing it.

Using her trademark wit alongside pop-culture references galore, Robinson explores everything from why Lisa Bonet is “Queen. Bae. Jesus,” to breaking down the terrible nature of casting calls, to giving her less-than-traditional advice to the future female president, and demanding that the NFL clean up its act, all told in the same conversational voice that launched her podcast, 2 Dope Queens, to the top spot on iTunes. As personal as it is political, You Can’t Touch My Hair examines our cultural climate and skewers our biases with humor and heart, announcing Robinson as a writer on the rise.

One of Glamour’s “Top 10 Books of 2016”

1.99 for a limited time!

Amazon

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#BookSale “The Librarian’s Vampire Assistant Box Set: Books 1-3” by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

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From New York Times Bestseller Mimi Jean Pamfiloff comes a Horribly Sunny Mystery (with a sprinkle of Romance), The Librarian’s Vampire Assistant Box Set: Books 1-3.

BOOK 1: NOBODY MESSES WITH HIS LIBRARIAN. . .

Who killed Michael Vanderhorst’s maker? It’s a darn good question. But when the trail brings Michael to hellishly sunny Phoenix, Arizona, his biggest problem soon becomes a cute little librarian he can’t seem to stay away from. He’s never met a bigger danger magnet! Even her book cart has it out for her. And is that the drug cartel following her around, too? “Dear God, woman! What have you gotten yourself into?”

Things go from bad to worse when local vampires won’t play nice.

Can this four-hundred-year-old vampire keep his librarian safe and himself out of hot water? Can he bring his maker’s killer to justice? Yesterday, he would’ve said yes. But yesterday, he didn’t have a strange connection with a librarian. Yesterday, people weren’t trying to kill her.

BOOK 2: HOW MUCH LONGER CAN HE KEEP HIS SECRET AND HIS FAVORITE HUMAN SAFE?

Michael Vanderhorst has always been a lone wolf. Or lone vampire? Whatever. Point is, this ancient gentleman vampire is obsessed. She’s quirky, a horrible dresser, and the cutest librarian he’s ever seen. The question is, why her? In four hundred years, no one has ever captured his attention like this. He must find out, which is why he just signed on as her new assistant.

The problem is, she has no idea vampires exist or that she’s just broken one of their laws. As the leader of his territory, Michael has been ordered by his council to turn her or kill her. “Over my dead body!”

To overturn the ruling, Michael needs the council on his side, and right now they’re asking him to hunt down and execute five hundred vampires no one can seem to locate. Unfortunately, his assassin days are long over, and he’s not so sure he can go back to killing.

But with Miriam’s life on the line and their unusual bond growing stronger each day, will he dust off the old sword or give her the bite that will make her his forever?

BOOK 3: FALLING IN LOVE WITH A LIBRARIAN JUST CAN’T GET MORE AWKWARD…

Michael Vanderhorst is not your usual vampire. For starters, he works in a library, is in love with Miriam, his hot nerdy human boss who has no clue what he is, and he looks like a college student.

In reality, Michael is an ancient deadly vampire, an ex-assassin, and is currently the de facto king of his kind ever since their ruling party disappeared. To where? He doesn’t know, but if he wants his life back, he’ll have to find out. (Mystery!) Especially because a civil war is brewing, and being king makes his librarian a mark for his enemies. She is, after all, his biggest weakness.

With a global uprising about to explode, Michael must give her the protection of his army. Only one problem: She must become his queen first. But every attempt he makes to tell her the truth is met with extreme hostility. “Vampires aren’t real. That’s crazy talk, Michael!” Clearly, the topic frightens her.

With time running out and her life on the line, Michael is left with one option: Marry her. Without her knowing.

Can he pull it off? And what will happen when the fight comes to their door?

FREE at time of posting for a limited time!

Amazon

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#FREE “Murder is a Family Business: A Fun Detective Cozy (The Alvarez Family Murder Mysteries Book 1)” by Heather Haven

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A DETECTIVE AGENCY WITH HEART.
ALSO MOM, KIDS, AND A KITTEN!

It’s a dismal day for the PI firm to the stars of Silicon Valley when their own star is huddled in a phone booth instead of tracking down stolen software. Sadly, ace detective Lee Alvarez is currently taking shelter from a deluge while surveilling some rat of a husband. This is way beneath her dignity!

Worse, she may be trapped with another rat. Something in there just moved.

But Lee’s luck just changed—that’s no drowned rat. It’s her thoroughly drenched, pathetically skinny, and terminally cute new BFF— an orange and white kitten tiny enough to fit in a pocket. Well, forget the surveillance.

When you catch on that this is the kind of mystery that starts with rescuing a kitten, you know you’re in good hands!

But Lee can’t forget the surveillance—she’s been assigned to the case by her formidable boss, the elegant Lila Alvarez (aka her mom), who’s doing a favor for an old friend. When she investigates why the rat hasn’t left his lair, she discovers the worst,— he has a few fresh holes in his chest.

She soon uncovers a criminal web of international proportions amid dark and harrowing dangers she never signed up for. But is she up to a near-death experience? Well! Is a kitten adorable?

Author Haven quickly rolls out all the warm and fuzzy delights a cozy fan could wish for—in the form of a delightfully eccentric, usually squabbling, yet thoroughly loving detective family, each with his or her special talent, beginning with its matriarch. Lila possesses all the WASPy refinement of Princess Grace, in cool contrast to her spirited half-Latina daughter Lee. (Liana to her mom, and that tells you so much!)

Completing the quartet is the adoring uncle you’ve always wanted (he cooks!), and the genius bro’ who made the firm famous with his brilliant cyber-detection. Trust us, this series has everything but tea and cookies.

Fans of PI stories, cozy mysteries, and women sleuths will go bananas,, especially if they love sharp funny female protagonists like Sue Grafton’s witty Kinsey Millhone and Janet Evanovich’s lovable Stephanie Plum. Aficionados of Lisa Lutz’s family series, The Spellman Files, will get a special kick out of the Alvarez clan.

Readers will also enjoy the fact that this series may be a first. Father/son detective teams abound—think The Republic of Doyle and The Good Cop—but mom/daughter sleuths are an idea whose time has come. Step right up and meet Lee and Lila.

FREE for a limited time!

KINDLE UNLIMITED

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#FREE “Life Begins When The Kids Leave Home And The Dog Dies” by Barb Taub

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Chapter 1. A California girl named Barb met her prince of a guy. He was tall, dark, and handsome. (Actually, he was a Republican. But he was definitely tall.) They fell in love, and got married.

Chapter 2. He brought her to his castle in England and they lived happily ever after. THE END**

**Luckily, 35+ years of living happened between Chapters 1 and 2, giving Barb plenty of material for this collection (in no particular chronological order) from her newspaper columns, articles, blog posts, and that time she killed Mom.

And that’s before Chapter 3 even starts.

I have learned to put down the coffee and place breakable objects at a safe distance when a post from Barb Taub comes up. It is very hard to drink coffee and laugh at the same time without redecorating the desk…”—author Sue Vincent

FREE at time of posting!

Kindle Unlimited

Amazon

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#CoverReveal “Snake Bandit” by Nikki Ashton

**Cover Reveal**

Snake Bandit by Nikki Ashton

YA Rock Band romantic humour – standalone read

Releases: 7th June

Pre-Order Today

Amazon UK: https://amzn.to/3uF48s9

Amazon US: https://amzn.to/2PKkXTz

#CoverReveal #SnakeBandit #NikkiAshton #YA #RockBand #RomanticHumour #BareNakedWords

Blurb

When Dirty Riches have taught you how to rock The rest don’t stand a chance

Summer has arrived and all the kids of the band Dirty Riches have plans

Eliza wants to get Rocco to fall in love with her, but he just wants to have sex with as many girls as possible. In fact, he and Ethan appear to be in competition for biggest manwhore of the summer. Rocco’s younger sister, Gigi also has sex on her mind because she wants to lose her virginity. Shame the guy she has in mind isn’t the best choice. Hendrix, Eliza’s, brother is a model who only has eyes for his girlfriend who he wants to Netflix and Chill with for the summer. Then there’s Lessie and Matilda, who as usual are joined at the hip trying to find ways to make some money. Rafa and Hettie, want to spend the summer practicing kissing so that they literally don’t suck at it! And finally, Jackson and Harrison two of the youngest. Well, they’re happy playing footy and having fun.

So, everyone has their summer planned out.

But when your dads are in a world-famous band, things don’t always go to plan

Sometimes you have to step up and take the stage Hold on for a fun ride

Fans of the Rock Stars Don’t Like series are going to love this book. Not only do you get the usual banter from your favourite rockers, but their kids too. There’s love, laughs and heartache in Snake Bandit and you’re going to love every minute of it.

 

Meet the Author

Nikki lives in Cheshire with her husband, two dogs, and lovely mother-in-law who supplies her with endless cups of tea. She writes contemporary and romantic comedy romances and hopes that she puts a smile on her reader’s faces and a sigh in their heart. Nikki is grateful for the wide variety of strange and wonderful people in her life, otherwise, she’d never know what to write about! She always takes a keen interest in family and friends, finding out their innermost secrets in readiness for her next book.

www. – http://www.nikkiashtonbooks.co.uk/ Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/NikkiAshtonBooks Twitter – https://twitter.com/NikkerAsh Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/nikkiashtonauthor/ Pinterest – https://uk.pinterest.com/davnikash/

 

#BookBlitz “Weasel Words (Bernard and Melody Capers Book 1)” by Dale E. Lehman

WeaselWords

Today we’re celebrating the release of crime caper, Weasel Words by Dale E. Lehman, with an exclusive excerpt and a chance to win a print copy of the book!

Weasel 2Weasel Words (Bernard and Melody Capers Book 1)

Expected Publication Date: February 15th, 2021

Genre: Humor/ Crime Fiction

Between them, Bernard and Melody Earls have looks, charm, brains . . . everything but money. That’s why they steal from the rich and give to themselves. So when Alexander Hamilton Plaskett hires them to nick a silver statuette of a pine marten from his brother Paul Revere Plaskett, they’re happy to oblige. But it won’t be as easy as it looks. For one thing, the little beast is guarded by Fitzroy Fortresses, the best security system money can buy. For another, the five Plaskett siblings are obnoxious buffoons. Still, a job is a job, and this one may offer more than it appears.

At least, that’s Bernard’s theory. The pine marten isn’t particularly valuable, so why do the Plasketts contest its ownership so fiercely? To find out, he and Melody insinuate themselves into the Plasketts’ world and enlist a college geek to hack the unhackable Fitzroy system. Failure means poverty. Discovery means prison. And the biggest obstacle to Bernard’s brilliant schemes? Melody’s penchant for running off-script!

Add to Goodreads

Excerpt

Bernard had to admit to some fascination at the floorplan being revealed in shaky lines by Ruggles’ quaking hand. If it proved at all accurate, he could use it to plot his movements almost to the second. “Pretty good for having seldom been there,” he commented.

Ruggles tapped his temple. “Muskrat trap.”

“Not much gets away from one of those, huh?”

“Not much the size of a muskrat. Bears would be another matter.” The butler set the pen down and pushed it and the napkin back to Bernard. “And you are walking into a den full of bears, Mr. Earls. If you ask me, Bear Trap Falls is aptly named.”

“Bears and one weasel. Got it.” Bernard tucked the napkin and pen into an inside pocket.

“Do you take this matter at all seriously?”

“Very seriously, Mr. Ruggles. Seven thousand dollars plus expenses seriously.”

Ruggles gave Bernard’s suit careful scrutiny. Admittedly it wasn’t a Christian Dior, but surely it didn’t warrant that dismissive smirk. “Do you consider that a large sum?”

“For a few hours’ work, sure.” Bernard performed a quick burst of mental math. “It equates to an annual salary of over four and a half million, you know.”

Had he been standing, that revelation would have rocked Ruggles back on his heels. Sitting on the bar stool, it nearly dumped him backwards onto the floor. He grabbed the edge of the bar just in time and righted himself. “I didn’t realize that.”

“Oh yes, there’s good money in my business.” If only, he didn’t add, we could actually work something approaching full time. As it was, they were lucky to pay the rent some months.

The bartender returned and slid a plate of cheese fries in front of Bernard. “Hot,” she said. He thought she probably had been, a decade or so back, but she couldn’t hold a candle to Melody, not then and not now, so he didn’t give her a second thought.

“Just relax,” he told the butler, who didn’t seem capable. “Here. Drink your drink and eat some of these. They say the bacon is real good.”

Ruggles watched the bartender move down the bar to another customer. “No doubt you wish to inspire confidence.” He pulled a fry from underneath the mass of gooey yellow, then held it as though it were poison while it dribbled cheese all over the bar. “So why am I more terrified now than when I came in?”

Bernard shook his head and shoveled a few fries into his mouth.

The bacon, it turned out, was nothing to write home about.

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Kobo | iBooks

About the Author

me

Dale E. Lehman is a writer, veteran software developer, amateur astronomer, and bonsai artist in training. He principally writes mysteries, science fiction, and humor. In addition to his novels, his writing has appeared in Sky & Telescope and on Medium.com. With his wife Kathleen he owns and operates the imprint Red Tales. They have five children, six grandchildren, and two feisty cats. At any given time, Dale is at work on several novels and short stories. Visit Dale at https://www.DaleELehman.com for information on his books, activities, and more.

Dale E. Lehman | Twitter | Facebook 

International Giveaway: Win 1 of 10 Print Copies of Weasel Words! Enter below!

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#BookTour “Sassy Saguaros” by Steve Ryan

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Humor, Arizona, Plants/Trees, Photography

Date Published: August 26, 2020

Publisher: Mindstir Media

NO ALTERATIONS! NO DISGUISES! NO PHOTOSHOP!

Steve Ryan spent months hiking and biking the beautiful Southwest Sonoran Desert, suffering more flat tires than he can count in his search for Saguaros that had something to “say”. Sassy Saguaros features the photographs he took of the most interesting subjects–based on their looks and personalities–and the hilarious captions he added (Steve is also a part-time comedian).

These desert dwellers–which often weigh several tons and can live up to 200 years–are brought to life in the wonderful, wacky world of Sassy Saguaros. Get ready to laugh out loud and see how “human” this giant cactus can be!

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EXCERPT

One of the ironies of this majestic desert plant is that the majority of a Saguaro is made up of water. Its root system, only inches under the ground, absorbs as much water as any rain will produce. For this reason, an adult Saguaro can weigh several tons. The Saguaro provides a home for many birds, including hawks and owls which are able to excavate nesting areas in the Saguaro’s pulpy flesh. Even deer and rabbits will eat the outside flesh when other water sources are scarce. It’s comforting to know that the Saguaro is not in any way an endangered plant species but thrives in abundance in the beautiful Sonoran Desert. But enough seriousness! Start turning the pages and watch these Saguaros come to life and turn a little bit “crazy” just like all of us.

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About The Author

 Steve Ryan, explorer and photographer, has lived in the Sonoran Desert for over 40 years. Steve is now retired and devoted to sharing the beauty-and “sass”-of the famous Saguaro cactus.

Steve Ryan spent years hiking and biking the beautiful Southwest Sonoran Desert, suffering more flat tires than he can count in his search for Saguaros that had something to say. Sassy Saguaros features the photographs he took of the most interesting subjects-based on their looks and personalities-and the hilarious captions he added. These desert dwellers-which often weigh several tons and can live up to 200 years-are brought to life in the wonderful, wacky world

Contact Links

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#FREE “RV There Yet?: The True Story of a Motoring Nightmare” by Travis Casey

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It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense. —Mark Twain

After selling their Minnesota home, Travis and Wendy plan an elaborate departure from the United States before repatriating themselves to the UK. Buying a second-hand RV, visiting states unknown, and selling the campervan after reaching Florida seems like the perfect exit. So they pack their lives and blind Shih Tzu into a once-luxurious thirty-one-foot RV and hit the open road.

As they roll through the Midwest, heading for the Deep South, they soon discover “RV” doesn’t mean “Reliable Vehicle.” Historical sites give way to repair shops and the excitement of the once-in-a-lifetime trip quickly turns into apprehension of what’s around the next corner. With the wheels literally coming off the wagon, bogus repairs, temperatures rising inside the RV and under the hood, sleeping in junkyards, and being laughed at by the Mississippi police, the once-happy couple just want the nightmare to end so they can return to England. But the Minnesota Department of Motor Vehicles has the final say as to when they can leave.

Of course it’s a true story. You couldn’t make it up.

KINDLE UNLIMITED

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