Horribly treated young mother seeking help for Post-Partum Depression!

This post is from Facebook. I do not know Jessica Porten (https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10213174920945414&id=1166947031) and saw the post because my daughter shared it. I have not altered or edited the post in any way. The photo belongs to Jessica. I’m sharing this to help get it in front of more people.

What was done to this woman was cruel and unnecessary, especially since she was reaching out for help. This angers me also because nearly the same thing happened in Michigan fifteen years when I tried to get help for my son, who was twelve at the time.

No one should be treated this way… NO ONE! We must demand better treatment and care of anyone seeking help for mental disorders and especially women with PPD.

I have much respect for Jessica and her husband for trying to handle things the right way… by seeing a doctor…that by the way, they never saw!

Feel free to share!

I had a really hard time deciding whether I should post something about what happened last night, since putting it on Facebook wouldn’t help the situation. But I don’t know, I feel like this has to be said out into the world so you can all see how little support mothers get from our healthcare system.

I had an OB appointment yesterday, my first since giving birth 4 months ago (because they kept cancelling my appointments), which is inhumane in my eyes. I went to the appointment alone with Kira. It was at 2:10, and I was not called back to a room until 3:15. A nurse practitioner comes in (one I don’t particularly care for) and I tell her everything my husband told them when he scheduled me the appointment a week ago. That I have postpartum depression that is manifesting in fits of anger, and I want to discuss my medication options. I tell them I have a very strong support system at home, so although I would never hurt myself or my baby, I’m having violent thoughts and I need medication and therapy to get through this. She rushed through my pelvic exam, barely spoke about medication, said she needed to talk to the doctor about my PPD, and left the room.

They called the fucking cops on me.

They had a staff member sit with me for over an hour waiting for the police to arrive. The cops show up and we’re trying to figure out the logistics of how they’re going to escort me to the ER because I have Kira and her car seat. The cops can clearly see I’m of sound mind and that this whole thing is bullshit, so they allow me to drive to the ER with Kira in my car while one cop drives in front of me and one follows behind. We arrive at the ER and I’m checked in, triaged, blood drawn. I am assigned a security guard to babysit me. I wait for over an hour and Scott is finally able to come down to support me (he was watching Luna and did not have her car seat so he had to wait for my dad to get home before he could come over). They finally get us a room, which they only did because we have a baby.

They take me to the bathroom so I can give a urine sample. They make me remove all of my clothes (including my flip flops, which they replaced with socks) and then take them away from me and lock them up. We missed dinner, so a nurse gives us two shitty little turkey sandwiches. I am not seen by a social worker until 10:45pm. She decides she does not need to put me on a psychiatric hold, and they process my discharge.

Not once during all of this has a doctor laid eyes on me. Not once. Not even before they decided to call the cops on me. The social worker hands me some papers and discusses the information in them, telling me she thinks these “will probably be good resources for you.”.

I leave the ER at midnight, my spirit more broken than ever, no medication, no follow up appointment, never spoke to a doctor. This was a 10 hour ordeal that I had to go through all while caring for my infant that I had with me. And that’s it. That’s what I got for telling my OB that I have PPD and I need help. I was treated like a criminal and then discharged with nothing but a stack of xeroxed printouts with phone numbers on them.

I’m still processing all of the emotions that are coming with being treated this way. I’m not exactly sure what to do here. I will say I am deeply hurt and upset, and above all angry and disgusted and disappointed by how this whole thing went down.

Ladies and gentleman, our healthcare system.

The photo is of Kira playing on the hospital bed. My poor baby did not sleep longer than half an hour for over 10 hours 😔

EDIT 01/19/18 at 3:38pm – I want to say, I will not be taking any legal action with this. I want this to spread far and wide so that awareness can be made. And then I want to fix this broken system. Because the fact of the matter is, even if I was mentally unstable, suicidal, and unfit to parent (which I am not), the way the situation was handled is not helpful to people. Let’s do better Sacramento. I want you all to ask yourself and those around you some questions.

-Why is the way I was treated standard procedure?
-What can we do to improve standard procedures for all postpartum mothers, but also specifically those at a higher risk for developing PPD and presenting with signs of PPD.
-Who is most qualified to make suggestions for improvements?
-Who is actually capable of making the changes to standard procedures, and how can we can contact them?

Let’s crowd source ideas and bring about some real change.

EDIT 01/19/18 at 11:06pm – I have some more questions I need to add this list. I may be marginalized as a woman, but I am white and heterosexual and hold privileges in these places. I am scared for our mothers of color and our LGBTQ mothers who seek out help in these situations.

-Why was I let go, when so many others would have been put on a mandatory 72 hour psychiatrichold, and had their children taken away?
-Why do a disproportionate number women of color who have PPD not receive the services they need, even when they initiate treatment?
-Why are a disproportionate number of women of color who have PPD misdiagnosed?
-Why are black women half as likely to receive mental health treatment and counseling as white women?
-What can we do as a community to lift up our marginalized memebers and make sure they receive the quality care that we ALL have a right to?!?

Casualty of Court – A pause in proceedings

CeeCee is still on the case! 😉

Have you read The Fifth Wheel yet? It’s the prequel! 😊

Just 4 My Books

Following complaints about CeeCee’s ability to provide relevant information on two of the characters in this series, Detective Hugh Dunnitt is forced to intervene. It is his decision alone that will determine if CeeCee remains on the interview panel.

He summons CeeCee to a meeting in Annie’s office.

I hope she covers up  – poor Hugh is not a young man.

While he waits, he throws out the incense sticks (shame, as his pipe smoke is much more unpleasant), pulls down the pink chiffon drapes and clears the desk of CeeCee’s knickknacks.

He sits in Annie’s recliner chair and leafs through his notebook – sighing and tutting. Inappropriate clothing, misplaced terms of endearment and a complete waste of time are just some of the claims made by Fern and Raven, neither young woman able to extract anything positive from their encounter with our flamboyant psychic.

Personally, I fear CeeCee has…

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“Lust and Loyalty (A Chesterton Scandal Novel)” by Shelly Ellis

Lust and Loyalty cover


Lust & Loyalty (A Chesterton Scandal Novel)

by Shelly Ellis

Genre: Women’s Fiction


It’s a life of high-profile drama for the powerful Murdochs of Chesterton, Virginia, and they just keep the scandals coming…

Evan Murdoch hoped things had finally settled down in his life. But now he’s caught between two feuding women: his pregnant fiancée, and his recovering alcoholic wife who’s fighting their divorce with every dirty, seductive trick she’s got. But even that doesn’t compare to the dangerous secret Evan’s harboring—one that could send a Murdoch to jail for a very long time…

Party boy brother Terrence Murdoch is recovering from his devastating car accident. But his relationship with his journalist girlfriend may not survive—especially when she reconnects with her family, her church—and her ex…

After the attempt on his life, half-brother Dante Turner lays low—but not for long. A mysterious young woman may be the answer to his vengeful prayers when it comes to bringing down the Marvelous Murdochs—and this time he’s going for the jugular…


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“Lullaby (87the Precinct Mysteries)” by Ed McBain

Lullaby cover

Lullaby (87th Precinct Mysteries)

by Ed McBain

Genre: Hardboiled/Police Procedural/Crime


New Year’s Day brings the dawn of a new year and the hope of better days to come. But for a couple who returns home from a New Year’s Eve party in the early morning hours to find their babysitter and child murdered, that hope is suddenly, brutally gone. For Detectives Carella and Meyer, the sight of the crime scene hits with magnum force, their own children at home safe in their beds.

Detective Kling rings in the New Year with an investigation into drug trafficking that erupts into a deadly turf war among rival gangs. They will stop at nothing to kill each other to achieve supremacy—and even kill a detective in the bargain.

The fortieth installment in what iconic writer Stephen King calls “inarguably the best series of police procedural novels ever written,” Lullaby is Ed McBain at his groundbreaking best.


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Meet Sarah Marie Graye, author of “The Second Cup” #Spotlight

Learn about author Sarah Marie Graye today as she takes time out from writing to discuss her debut novel, The Second Cup. Remember to scroll to the end and enter Sarah’s international giveaway. Three winners will each receive a signed copy of The Second Cup.


Second Cup banner


FD: Where are you from?

SMG: I’m originally from Manchester (in the United Kingdom). I’m a typical Mancunian in that I can’t hear anything negative about my hometown, although I’m not sure I could live in a big city again. I lived in London for a while, but it wasn’t for me. [SMG shudders] I currently live in Whitstable on the north Kent coast – and one of my local bars is called ‘Novelist’ so it’s fate! I recommend a daily dose of sea air to anyone thinking of moving to the coast.


FD: Do you recall how your interest in writing originated?

SMG: I’m a natural daydreamer and spend many hours living in the world inside my head. I’ve always enjoyed reading and found myself writing the next theoretical chapter of a book in my head once I’d finished reading something.

I loathed school, but found English the most tolerable subject! [SMG rolls her eyes] I studied English Literature at A Level and enjoyed the range and depth of books we read. I also studied Performing Arts and went on to do a degree in Scriptwriting at Bournemouth University before working as a journalist. A few years ago I completed an MA Creative Writing, which supported me in writing my debut novel.


FD: What inspired you to write your first book?

SMG: The final-year project on my degree at Bournemouth was a feature-length script. The feedback I got was that my writing was a too descriptive for a script – and also wasted on it because the audience didn’t get to read it, and that I should consider writing a novel. The thought stayed with me for over a decade before I got round to doing anything about it! I’m a typical “Turtle Writer” (a group of writers who write slowly, who support each other on Twitter).


FD: Who designed the cover?

SMG: Cover Mint (www.covermint.design). It was one of five covers sent over as ideas from my publisher Creativia. I fell in love with the one I chose instantly. Turns out it was their favourite too! I especially love the font – it has given my novel a very strong look. When my first order of paperbacks turned up I found myself hugging them – it’s when it really hit home that I was a published novelist.


FD: What genres do you enjoy reading and what are you reading now?

SMG: I love psychological fiction that gets inside the head of the main characters. I prefer slower paced books, so I don’t read too much psychological crime/thriller fiction. I’m currently reading The White Lie by Andrea Gillies – I’m actually re-reading it, which is cheating a little, I guess [SMG grins]. Before that I read The Memory Keeper’s Daughter by Kim Edwards and I’ve got How to Stop Time by Matt Haig and The Summer of Impossible Things by Rowan Coleman next on my to-read list.


FD: How do you relax and have fun?

SMG: I love going for long walks. Well, I’m more of a meanderer – no real speed. I’ve learned the coastal bus routes in Whitstable and Herne Bay so I can get myself back home if I walk too far and tire myself out. I also enjoy binge-watching TV series on Netflix – recent recommendations are The Code and The Sinner. And reading, of course! I obviously love reading! [SMG laughs] I’m also a bit of a sleep addict; I try to get 10 hours every night. Sleep is so important for health and general wellbeing and needs no fitness levels in order to be achieved.


FD: What’s one thing from your bucket list you’d like to experience or accomplish?

SMG: To spend a year or two living on one of the Canary Islands and writing a book in the sun. It’s difficult to get work out there, so it’s very much a wistful idea at the moment. I have a plotline for a novel where tragedy strikes on holiday, so it would be the perfect excuse. If I ever win the lottery I’ll head out there and have a lovely long writing holiday!


FD: What are your current projects?

SMG: I’m working on my second novel, with the working title of The Victoria Lie. I’m just over 10,000 words into the first draft, so it’s not much beyond the embryonic stage at the moment. Unlike The Second Cup, which is mostly set in my hometown of Manchester (plus London, Berkhamsted and Blackpool), The Victoria Lie is set in London and Whitstable.


FD: Can you share a little of your current work with us?

SMG: I write in first-person multi-narration, so different characters tell different chapters. The section below comes from the first draft of Ruby’s first chapter. She lives in Whitstable and is visiting London – so she sees it through the eyes of an outsider. A homeless person has just recited a poem on the tube as a way to beg for money. Ruby notices the way most people on the tube don’t even see them.

She finishes her poem and stands briefly at the end of the carriage that was temporarily her stage before walking slowly between the two rows of seats, ignored by most, acknowledged with a nod by a skinny girl who looks like she could do with a decent meal herself – the nod says “I would like to help but I can’t, but I see you as a fellow human”. The nod is important.

Nobody else puts their hands in their pockets or their purses. I know rhyming couplets aren’t clever, and maybe it’s the hundredth time that everyone else in this carriage has heard the poem, but I want to reward this homeless woman for attempting to connect with a carriage full of people who mostly want to pretend she isn’t there.

I have no idea what an acceptable amount to give a homeless person in London is, so I guess at £2. I fish the coins out of my purse and hand them over. I can tell from the slight flex of muscles on her face – a hint of surprise – that I’ve been generous. Even though people earn more in London, it doesn’t seem to matter; people are protective of their own pennies. 



FD: Where can readers find you online?

Website: https://sarahmariegraye.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/SarahMarieGraye

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sarahmariegraye/

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.co.uk/sarahmariegraye/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahmariegraye/

You’re most likely to find me on Twitter!


FD: Many thanks for visiting with us today, Sarah Marie. Continued success to you!

SMG: Thank you! Lovely to meet you and talk to you about about my writing. Hopefully we’ll get the chance to catch up again once I’ve finished The Victoria Lie.


Would your life unravel if someone you knew committed suicide? Theirs did.

Faye’s heart still belongs to her first love, Jack. She knows he might have moved on, but when she decides to track him down, nothing prepares her for the news that he’s taken his own life.

With the fragility of life staring them in the face, Abbie finds herself questioning her marriage, and Faye her friendship with Ethan. And poor Olivia is questioning everything – including why Jack’s death has hit Beth the hardest. Is she about to take her own life too?

Universal Purchase Linkhttps://mybook.to/SecondCup




Author Bio:

Sarah Marie Graye was born in Manchester, United Kingdom, in 1975, to English Catholic parents. One of five daughters, to the outside world Sarah Marie’s childhood followed a relatively typical Manchester upbringing… until aged 9, when she was diagnosed with depression.

It’s a diagnosis that has stayed with Sarah Marie over three decades, and something she believes has coloured every life decision.

Now in her early 40s, and with an MA Creative Writing from London South Bank University (where she was the vice-chancellor’s scholarship holder), Sarah Marie has published her debut novel – about family, friendships and mental health.


~ Giveaway~

Win 3 x Signed copies of The Second Cup by Sarah Marie Graye (Open Internationally)




Tips for Fibromyalgia Caregivers

Fibro Cloud

Having fibromyalgia is hard. It’s the kind of condition that changes your life completely. You can’t do the sort of things you used to, which means you have to make huge adjustments to your entire lifestyle. And through it all, you’re dealing with chronic, horrible pain and debilitating fatigue.

But fibromyalgia isn’t just hard for the people who have it. Too often we forget about how it can change the lives of those who have loved ones who suffer from the condition. Often, these people are thrust into the position of caregiver.

So what do you do when someone you love develops fibromyalgia? The most important thing is to educate yourself on the condition. There is a lot of misinformation out there about fibromyalgia, so it’s vital to get the real facts. So, let’s discuss what you should know about fibromyalgia if you have a loved one with the condition and talk about some tips for fibromyalgia caregivers.

What Is Fibromyalgia?

If your loved one is diagnosed with fibromyalgia, you may begin to notice that they are frequently tired or constantly in pain. That’s because fibromyalgia causes chronic fatigue and pain which radiates out of 18 specific points on the body. These points are called tender points because when you press into them, the pain spikes. But the pain doesn’t just occur when the points are touched.

Instead, the pain of fibromyalgia is basically constant. But that’s not to suggest that it’s always the same. The person you’re caring for may experience something known as “flare-ups.” These are basically days when the symptoms of the condition are much more severe. They’re typically caused by stress or physical activity, and they can be severe enough to make it almost impossible to get out of bed.

And you may also notice that, during these flare-ups, someone with fibromyalgia may seem especially forgetful, or have a hard time focusing. That’s because fibromyalgia causes a sort of mental cloudiness. People in the fibromyalgia community often refer to this as “fibro fog.”

We don’t know what causes fibromyalgia, but the best theory is that it’s somehow linked to a condition in the nervous system that causes the nerves to send out pain signals without any source of physical damage.

So, now that you know a little more about fibromyalgia, what are some things you should keep in mind when caring for someone who has the condition?

Tips For Fibromyalgia Caregivers

The first thing to consider when caring for someone with fibromyalgia is that they should remember to take their medication. Due to their fibro fog, they may sometimes forget. In addition, many people who struggle with fibromyalgia feel like their medication isn’t really working for them. And for many people, this may actually be true.

The standard medication for treating fibromyalgia is something called an SSRI. These drugs work by increasing the level of serotonin in the brain, and they can be helpful for a lot of people with the condition. But they don’t seem to work for everyone. As a result, the person with fibromyalgia may not want to take them. However, medication decisions should always be made by a doctor. If the person your caring for doesn’t feel like their medication is working, help them set up an appointment with their physician to discuss other options, but encourage them to take their medication until a doctor changes their prescription.

Many people with fibromyalgia also take opioid pain relievers. These carry their own risks, and as you’ve probably heard, opioid overdose deaths have often been described as an epidemic. Make sure that the person you’re caring for is taking these medications responsibly.

The second most important part of caring for someone with fibromyalgia is to remember that they are suffering. Often, people with fibromyalgia have a hard time maintaining relationships. Fibromyalgia is life-changing in more ways than one. It can change your personality when you’re struggling with chronic pain. And the fatigue and mental fog make it difficult to handle daily tasks.

So, the person you’re caring for might struggle with daily life, and it’s important to be there for them. Simply be a friend first and a caregiver second. Those struggles that people with fibromyalgia endure often lead to depression, which is something you should also watch out for. While fibromyalgia isn’t fatal, the suicide rate among people with fibromyalgia is tragically high. And the depression can be much worse if the person with the condition feels socially isolated.

So, keep a close lookout for signs of depression, and assist the person you’re caring for with getting professional help if it seems like they need it.

And remember, there isn’t much you can do to help someone with the pain of fibromyalgia, but you can make their life easier in a lot of ways. And most importantly, you can help them continue to live their lives as normally as possible.


The preceding article is from FibromyalgiaTreating.com and posted here for sharing purposes only. No copyright infringement intended. For additional information, please visit their website or consult your physician.