Wacky Wednesday!

WW banner

Got the holiday blahs? Take a break and laugh, smile, or be really sarcastic! 😀 😀 😀


There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally, and by hand.

This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK).

If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT.

This virus will wipe out your private life completely. If you should come into contact with WORK, put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest grocery store.

Purchase the antidotes known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER).

Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.


1. How Do You  Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On  It.

2. How Do You  Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.

3. How Do  Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The  Psycho Path.

4. How Do You  Get Holy Water?
You Boil The  Hell Out Of It.

5. What Do  Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?

6. What Do  Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?

7. What Do You  Call a Boomerang That Doesn’t work?
A Stick.

8. What Do You  Call Cheese That Isn’t Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You  Call Santa’s Helpers?
Subordinate  Clauses.

10. What Do  You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko.

11. What Do  You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do  You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?

13. What Lies  At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous  Wreck.

14. What’s The  Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can  Roast Beef.

15. Where Do  You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where  You Left Him.

16. Why Do  Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They  Have Big Fingers.

17. Why Don’t  Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It  Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind  Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?

19. What Is  The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?!
The Location  Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did  Pilgrims’ Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They  Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

21. What’s The  Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer  Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver  Goes Dang! Whack

22. How Are a  Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody’s  Gonna Lose a Trailer.



She’s sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

“Cash, check or charge?” I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
“So, do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked.
“No,” she replied, “but my husband refused to come shopping with me,

and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.”


I know I’m not going to understand women.
I’ll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.



While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
“It is essential that husbands and wives know each other’s likes and dislikes.”
He addressed the man,
“Can you name your wife’s favorite flower?”
Tom leaned over, touched his wife’s arm gently and whispered, “It’s Pillsbury, isn’t it?


A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, “Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, “You see, it’s like this,
yesterday, I sent my wife to the store
to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
and some rolling papers; cause it’s sooo-ooo–oo-ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own ………. so does she.
(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)


A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?”
“Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”


A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day…
30,000 to a man’s 15,000.
The wife replied, “The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men…
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, “What?”


A man said to his wife one day, “I don’t know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
“The wife responded, “Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, “You should do it because you get up first,
and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, “You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.”
Wife replies, “No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.”
Husband replies, “I can’t believe that, show me.”
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says ………. “HEBREWS”

The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him
at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
“Please wake me at 5:00 AM.” He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

Now, admit it.  At least one of these made you smile!


9 thoughts on “Wacky Wednesday!

What say you?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.